Six Friendship Rules To Live By

1. Be Yourself

It may seem like a no-brainer, but a lot of teens struggle not to lose their identity once they become part of a group of friends. Though who you are is always changing, especially during your teenage years, some aspects of your personality will stay pretty much the same. Figure out what those things are and think hard about who you want to be, then present yourself honestly and genuinely to the people you hang around with.

Sometimes you're going to disagree or not be the most popular member of the group. However, you will always feel you've been true to yourself -- and that you haven't become somebody else's clone.

2. Avoid Gossip

Friends don't spread rumors about other friends -- even within their own group. If you've heard something shocking about someone you're friends with, find a considerate way of asking them about it personally.

If you're not sure how to talk to them about it, seek the advice of one other trusted friend, but don't let the discussion turn into a free-for-all about everything you don't like about the person. You certainly wouldn't be happy if someone did that to you, so set a good example for others -- and for yourself.

3. Defend Your Friends

At some point, somebody you're not tight with is going to question the integrity of one of your friends. It's important to find out both sides of the story in a situation like this, but it's also a good chance to show your friend that you have faith in them by standing up for their reputation. Whenever you can, be respectful of the other person's question or criticism but emphasize that your friend is a good person who deserves the respect of others, even when they make mistakes.

4. Protect Your Friends

When a friend of yours is making not-so-great decisions -- whether it's about drugs, alcohol, studying or dating -- do your best to look out for them. This doesn't mean telling them what to do constantly, but you can offer gentle advice and guidance from time to time.

If you give advice in a caring way that shows you value your friend and respect their feelings and wishes, they're much more likely to pay attention. Chances are, what you think means a lot to them, and you can be a good influence.

5. Be Careful About Boyfriends and Girlfriends

It's a good rule of thumb to stray away from dating the exes of your friends. It's an even better rule of thumb to avoid dating the people your friends have crushes on -- or people who have turned down your friends for dates. Even if your friend gives you the go-ahead, wait a while to get involved with someone who broke their heart or betrayed their confidence.

6. Return the Favor

There are times when a friend will lend you a jacket, a textbook or a shoulder to cry on. A good friend will pick you up when you're stuck in a rainstorm and listen patiently when you share a problem with them. Be sure that you're equally as generous with your time, your emotions and your possessions. People will take notice, and it's something to feel good about.

How Do You Handle a Cheating Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

     When you find out that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you it is really hard to believe it because you spent all that precious time and money on them. Its really hard for a few weeks but  always remember that you can find some one who will treat you 1,000 times better. You will always have someone by you standing there and helping you through everything.

1

First and foremost - take a deep breath and some time. Do not let yourself have a knee-jerk response. Think! This is especially important in long-term relationships. Sudden reactions without thought can lead to consequences you might regret. Give yourself some mental space before you take any action.

2

Talk to someone. You are not alone. Statistics are sketchy and vary widely, but many surveys have been done on cheating and they indicate that between a fourth and half of all married people will or have cheated at one time or another.

3

Do not blame yourself. It's easy for people to start looking at themselves for reasons why their partner cheated... nothing good will come of that. Issues that lead to cheating sometimes involve both people, but that's certainly not always the case. However, it would, help, at a later date look inwards too to find out why your partner looked elsewhere for comfort. There could be certain grey areas in your behavior which could have led to such actions. You have remember that most humans like a monogamous lifestyle, as it brings about so much of happiness & security. However, there are a few who would not conform to this.

4

Determine whether you were actually cheated on. Ask yourself these questions: Were you officially boyfriend and girlfriend at the time this "cheating" occurred? Were you officially monogamous? If not, you cannot be sure that your significant other knew what he or she was doing would offend you, in which case you might want to consider less confrontational options.

5

Talk to your partner. Let your concerns and fears be known. It might come out that nothing at all happened, or perhaps something did happen and coercion was involved (workplace sexual harassment, for example, which needs to be discussed openly and immediately to ward off future occurrences). There could be a substance abuse or psychological issue that needs to be addressed (sex addiction is very real). If help is warranted, you might want to support your partner in getting help - that could prove therapeutic for both of you. However, substance abuse is not a valid "excuse" for inappropriate behavior and you absolutely must not permit the "yeah but I was drunk so it doesn't matter" argument - stand very firm on that.

6

Ask yourself if you will ever be able to look at your partner the same way. Infidelity doesn't mean much for some, and some people have more than one physical relationship and it doesn't suggest a shortcoming in their relationship with their steady partner, but this is rare. Infidelity often indicates boredom and dissatisfaction with the present relationships. Dealing with a partner who doesn't want you in the first place, or one who doesn't mind hurting you, is ridiculous. Dump him/her if this is the case.

7

If you decide this is irreconcilable, don't break up with your partner and later take him/her back. This will only give you more emotional stress. If you break up, make it a clean break. However, a trial separation is a valid option. If you do make a break of any kind (permanent or trial) don't talk to your ex after breaking up with him/her immediately. Give yourself some cooling off time first. If there are children or critical financial issues this might not be possible. In that case, set specific ground rules (time frames, meeting places, etc). This can be difficult, but it's important.

8
Don't start rumors. Share your suspicions with more than one close friend is likely to create gossip that can have very negative results in many areas. If there is an investigation underway, that kind of talk can hamper the case.

9
Look at your own personal actions, too. If you are also cheating, then it might be time to have an open discussion with your partner and clear the air. Perhaps couples counseling is in order. If divorce is the chosen option, remember it can get very ugly, very quickly, and your indiscretions will be brought into the limelight as well.

10
Turnabout is not fair play. Don't start a relationship just because your spouse has done so. This is pure revenge and nothing good will come of it.

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